myp

Navigating the commercial web of wickedness

MarryYourPet is not responsible for anything, ever; forever. In fact we frequently talk with our mouths full, don't know the Green Cross Code, and often go out without an umbrella. None of us were milk monitors at school.

Although happy to marry you, we cannot guarantee that you will be happy. MarryYourPet is in no way responsible for anything nasty occurring. If your marriage breaks down or you can no longer stand their smelly breath, it's entirely your own problem. If Fido eats your mother or Fluffy pees in your trainer, we will only laugh.

This is a marriage of minds and companionship. You have no conjugal rights. For sake of clarity: You are not permitted to have sex with your pet.

This marriage is recognised neither by law nor church, but by the much higher realm of the great pet god in the sky - Mr. Mustofales*. Although a mere cat, he is omniscient. Don't think you can fool him, ever. If you mistreat your pet, or (heaven forbid) give him supermarket's own pet food, he will know and you will surely suffer.

*Further reading: Getting one over on the world: My life as a god by M.K.G. Mustofales.

No animals were harmed in the making of this website, but several people had their fingers bitten and one was humiliated by a parrot.

MarryYourPet has the right to alter its policies at any time, especially if this renders us less responsible. We can also change anything on the site, at any time, and when you visit you're bound by those changes too.

If you disclose anything to us - it's ours. If you sleep walk to the post box and accidentally mail us something that you don't want us to have - it's ours. If you don't disclose it, but your Auntie's Uncle (or even your Auntie's Uncle's dog) does so without your permission - it's still ours. And as it's ours, we may do what we like with it. Yep, we can broadcast, disclose or publish it. We can take your ideas, market and develop them, make a fortune and not even send you a dodgy thank you card. Probably we won't even want to, but just so as you know that we can.

Enjoy your marriage and have a nice day.